Coming Home Meditation Tuesday Morning 10:30am EST ~ Effort, Non-Effort
Join me for a group meditation and contemplation on efforting
Dear Friends,
I have a deep interest in effortlessness. It’s been a revelation to me on this journey into the body: how not efforting (in the right circumstances) can be more effective and more skillful than efforting.
So much of my young life I labored under the misconception that more effort lead to more results or better results. Some of this was trauma—feeling like I needed to DO and achieve in order to be loved and valued. Some of this was cultural conditioning: the way school teaches you to buckle down, make the grade, achieve, compete…
And of course, there is some truth to the benefits of discipline and hard work. I couldn’t have learned Sanskrit without the effort it took to memorize declensions and learn a new alphabet. But there is also a point at which the effort itself gets in the way of the learning, the opening, the progress. Maybe we effort until it’s more efficacious to let go?
A story comes to mind…when I was in my twenties, I was living in San Francisco. A dear friend invited me to take a salsa dancing class with her at the YMCA in Berkeley. Every Sunday afternoon, carrying our dancing shoes in our bags, we rode the BART to the East Bay. I remember watching myself in the mirrored wall of that classroom, trying very hard to learn the steps. I was efforting.
After we learned the basic steps, we began to venture to the salsa clubs. We had a ball. Neither of us was very good and I still had to count in my head (1, 2, 3…1, 2, 3…) when I danced with the patient men willing to spin me around the dance floor. They were perfect gentlemen and lovers of the dance. Though I was having fun, for me it was still an effort.
One weekend, a great salsa teacher was coming to town for an all-day workshop. I was invited by a new dance friend. I knew it would be beyond my skill level, but I was excited to push myself. I wanted to be a better dancer. I remember the morning session was a nightmare. Immediately, as the music started I saw I was in way over my head. I kept trying harder. I counted furiously in my head and aloud. Everything was moving too fast for me to keep up. I was behind, lost and embarrassed. I began to doubt myself and thought about leaving. Of course, the teacher was aware of the experience I was having.
At the lunch break, I was nearly in tears but my friend convinced me to stay for one more exercise. I remember we were in circle when the teacher came to me and took my hand. He looked me straight in the eyes said, “just stop counting…you’re trying too hard. Feel the music…feel my lead.” He expertly guided me as I relaxed into his arms. Within a minute what had been deliberate and mental dropped into my body. I felt the rhythm of salsa for the first time. It was like learning to ride a bike. I knew then that it would never leave my body. And the effort was gone. I danced the rest of the afternoon session like a pro. It was beautiful, effortless. I understood that day, the power of less effort.
It’s the same with meditation. In the west, we are conditioned to work hard at things in order to “get them,” or “get somewhere.” But, where are we going? Where are we trying to get to? Recently, in my meditation I have been playing with feeling when more effort is necessary and when less effort is the key. It’s profound.
Join me tomorrow if you’d like to have the experience of effortlessness in your sitting practice. We’ll meet from 10:30-11:45a EST because I am on the West Coast.
This is a pay-what-you-feel experience each week. Suggested donation is $10-20 for drop ins. Whatever you feel called to give is wonderful and appreciated. Contributions can be made here: Paypal: schuyler@artofemergence.com or Venmo: ElizabethSchuyler-Brown. Paid subscribers, you are already covered. Thank you.