Embodiment Hour Tomorrow @ 12p EST at The Stoa ~ The Messy Healing Journey of the Masculine and Feminine
It's so simple and very complicated.
Dear Friends,
This week we’ll come together for another session of Embodiment Hour at The Stoa. I want to say a few things about this emerging practice and then move into an introduction of tomorrow’s topic.
Cultural Embodiment, as I am calling it now, is steadily revealing its significance. With each beautifully honest session, I feel more clear about how much we need this kind of work.
We are in the midst of a raging culture war and the battle for our minds is the frontline. While I respect sensemaking as a mental/cognitive practice, there is no way to make sense of the world without the wisdom of the body and emotions. Cultural Embodiment brings the practice of embodiment to the witnessing, processing, digesting and transmuting of cultural and media content. In doing this, we have the power to defuse the culture wars. It is a path—through empathy, insight, and compassion—back to peace, truth, and clarity.
When we are doing this practice we are striving to hold an open field for the digestion of challenging or provocative material; a non-judgmental field of awareness. Our feelings are our guide into deeper meaning and also healing. We can bear witness to what is happening in the world together, make space for “irrational” or “shameful” reactions, let go of our sense of isolation…and rest in a deeper sense of not-knowing and curiosity, even about subjects that have become highly polarized. We can also learn to make space for our hopes, dreams, joy, and bliss. We can expand our capacity for pleasure! We can return to the deep felt sense of what it is we love. Through Cultural Embodiment, we find our way out of reactivity and back to a state of responsiveness and ultimately…creativity.
This work sits within the context of collective trauma healing and emotional intelligence. Plenty of people gather in group spaces to work with cultural material and to heal personal and collective wounds. There’s so much of this work to be done! Thomas Hübl’s Global Social Witnessing and his teachings on collective trauma over the years have been highly influential for me. Brené Brown’s recent book and special, Atlas of the Heart, on HBO Max uses media clips to teach emotional intelligence and empathy. I am inspired by all who are holding such spaces with integrity and care.
What I now understand is that this human family is one organism. There is a species mind that is working to up-level, grow and learn, heal and integrate. In a sense media and art are a way the organism shows itself what it needs to see and understand—the way it makes meaning. We need to really SEE the full spectrum of what WE are feeling right now, what needs to be healed in the organism as a whole. We cannot do this if we are habitually tuning out or turning away.
Thank you to all of you who have joined me for previous sessions of Cultural Embodiment. You are helping to craft the practice. I am so grateful and I look forward to continuing to refine it with your help and participation.
Tomorrow: The Messy Healing Journey of the Masculine and Feminine
I’ve been thinking a lot about apologies—the profound healing power of a sincere “I’m sorry.” It’s so simple, yet the journey to getting to that place where you can issue it or receive it fully…this is where things get complicated.
Specifically, I’ve been thinking about how a precise apology on both sides could go a long way to soothing and healing the battle of the sexes (or the gender war). Maybe it’s because I’ve finally come to a place where I have made peace within myself with these archetypal energies—my own masculine and feminine are happily in union at last. Maybe it’s because I’ve finally put down every last piece of my victim baggage and have been able to step into a genuine remorse about the pain I’ve caused men. Maybe it’s because the patriarchy seems so over now…I sense it’s time to forgive and move on from women’s lib into something new and actually liberating for all.
I’ve been actively, consciously, and publicly working on the personal and collective wounds of the feminine and masculine since 2009. That year I met a teacher who introduced me to the power of—and painful suppression of—the Divine Feminine. I also had a vision and received a calling from The Goddess. While this may sound strange to some, I know others of you have a similar story. When The Goddess calls, she usually does so in a manner that’s hard to ignore! It was clear to me from my earliest explorations that this would be a big part of my life’s work and it’s a multi-lifetime kind of mission. I’ve spent many years sorting through the personal and collective wounds of the feminine and masculine within myself and the cultures I am a part of.
I give this background for context. I do not enter this territory lightly and I am personally very well-versed in the depth of trauma that resides here for men, women, and non-binary people. I have experienced a lot of it myself and I have held space for many processing their wounds and integrating these aspects.
A week or so ago, I was in contact with David Fuller of Rebel Wisdom. In the course of the conversation, I shared with him this desire I have welling up in me to issue a sweeping apology to men. He immediately pointed me to the work of his friend, Dr. Hanna Milling. Hanna also felt that impulse well up in her in 2018. It was so strong and so clear, she wrote the apology and then collaborated with friends to make a video. The project was called #fromwomentomen.
I watched the video and also a nice interview David did with Hanna and the filmmakers. I felt aligned with these women and I loved what they had to say. I was also interested to find on Hanna’s website, a response from men in 2020.
While the experience of watching the videos is not quite the catharsis a real life exchange of energy with friends, lovers and community members can be, it is something. I really felt something.
This week, as my news feed filled with images and videos from the trial of Johnny Depp and Amber Heard, I realized that these apology videos are as relevant now as they were when they were made. Maybe more so. Maybe more people are ready to stop the madness and start taking responsibility for our part in what is a long and ongoing dynamic where, at the end of the day, both sides have lost so much. Maybe the beginning of the end of the battle of the sexes is hidden here in this trial. Maybe we can find some compassion for everyone involved instead of trying to sort out definitively who was right and who was wrong…who is bad and who is good.
The week has been a non-stop, unfiltered exposé of the tragic lives of a couple who also happen to be celebrities. There’s nothing glamorous about this. It is a tale of trauma, addiction, emotional abuse, domestic violence, and mental illness. It also seems to me like a vivid example of the Shadow Masculine and Shadow Feminine that need to be surfaced and owned in our culture. The shadow masculine is a familiar story to us by now and yes, Johnny certainly acted that part in this drama. But, the shadow feminine is something we haven’t totally dealt with or even acknowledged. We know a lot about Toxic Masculinity, but what about Toxic Femininity? It’s becoming clear that Amber’s role in the drama was also very problematic. How do we hold that? Social media commentators have enthusiastically come out in support of Depp. From an article on NBC News:
On Twitter, some who back Depp have suggested that Heard isn’t being held to the same standard as male domestic abusers and criticized her behavior during the couple’s marriage.
In court filings before the trial, Heard said she hit Depp only in self-defense or in defense of her younger sister, according to The New York Times.
“Amber Heard got a free pass for her lies and violence for 6 years. This gender bias must end now. Make her accountable for her actions, Virginia, we trust you,” Twitter user and Depp supporter Ayca Gurelman wrote.
From a legal perspective, we will leave it to the courts to sort out who is at fault and for what. From a healing perspective, we can hold that everyone involved is in pain. Rather than seeing this trial as a spectacle, can we see it as a tragedy of these times? A story of the way hurt people hurt people? A story of how a man and a woman who once loved each other cannot find their way to I’m sorry.
Schuyler, as ever, thank you for this inquiry and for cultivating Cultural Embodiment. I am reminded of some of Cynthia Bourgeault's commentaries in her book, Mystical Courage.
“In the absence of a vibrant, awakened presence in our physical body, we default to thinking without even knowing we are doing it. Then everything becomes a projection of the story inside our heads.”
She speaks about the power of what we can accomplish together as an interconnected community...
"A web is underutilized if we only use it to shore up our personal sense of safety and connectedness within our immediate group. It can more powerfully be used to offer direct transfusions of hope, courage, compassion, and resilience to an entire planet grown dark and mineral for want of these things. It can begin to warm the atmosphere in the inner ground, so that new movement in the outer ground becomes possible.”
Gratitude for your courage and commitment--here's to relishing the challenge, messiness and delight of embodiment!