Menopause to the Mystic

Some amusing musings on how menopause like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder

Georgia O’Keefe, Slightly Open Clam Shell, Medium Pastel, 1926

"I said to myself, ‘I have things in my head that are not like what anyone has taught me—shapes and ideas near to me—so natural to my way of being and thinking
that it hasn’t occurred to me to put them down.’
I decided to start anew, to strip away what I had been taught."

—Georgia O’Keefe

Menopause To the Mystic 😍🗝️👑🔥🌈⭕️👏🏻

This morning, I had to laugh at myself.

Perimenopause is a trip and many days, I find I’m literally tripping. I don’t know what’s me, what’s the hormones, and whether it even matters (it does and doesn’t). Just the other day I was texting with a friend about some new symptoms and she sent me a mainstream podcast, saying how helpful it was to her.

I didn’t hesitate to listen even though this is not the kind of podcast I typically listen to or enjoy. In fact, it’s the kind of thing I generally dislike. BUT, I’ve been open to a wide variety of sources on this topic of menopause because I find it to be so totally overwhelming and confusing. Most of the time, I walk away from the book, article, or interview feeling less good about my situation and less empowered. Sometimes, I take away a few factoids or tips.

In this case, I found the interview to be compelling, but also alienating. The women were squarely in a different paradigm. I could call it a medical paradigm or a control paradigm where knowledge is power. The female doctor being interviewed was smart, competent, compassionate, and funny. I liked her. The interviewer was stunned and outraged and excited on behalf of her millions of listeners. At the end of it all, they were both advocating for estrogen and hormone replacement therapy. The argument was something like, “Ladies, we don’t need to suffer like this. We can maintain our youthfulness and attractiveness and competence if we weigh the risks and dose ourselves correctly.”

I typically find the medical paradigm around women’s health to be hugely reductive, flat, insulting, and infuriating—not to mention the way it’s in collusion with patriarchy and white supremacy to turn a woman’s magical creatrix body into a science experiment or worse…a problem to be solved! Something like menopause becomes a series of symptoms to be medicated so she can return to “normal life” and fulfill her duties as a mom, a wife, a worker bee, etc etc. Yes, I am happy my generation, X, is breaking the taboo on the subject and I do believe there’s a lot to be discovered in terms of medicinal help and supplemental support for a healthy menopause transition, but I just think we need to be careful about what we’re missing when we medicate or eradicate the very aspects of the female-bodied experience that bring us closer to the feminine aspects of the divine, closer to our embodied Nature, deeper into lived experience. My fear is that the mainstream, in its haste to “help” women with menopause (a noble goal) is going to extinguish the opportunity for intitiation that lives at the very heart of it.

An experience that’s common for me when I do tune into the medical point of view is that I learn about new symptoms that I’ve been having, but didn’t know they were associated with menopause. This is actually cool and helpful. It’s good to know you;re not crazy. But, what was funny to me this morning was a sudden realization I had around how in the absence of medical “knowledge” and the “facts” I’ve intuited and sensed my way through this process in a very magical way. I’d call it the mystical menopausal paradigm. So, we have a medical paradigm and a mystical paradigm right now. Wouldn’t it be cool if they could find some common ground—or inform each other?

In the mystical paradigm I occupy, I experience my perimenopause “symptoms” as signs that I am evolving, transcending this body and space-time, becoming a queen, stepping fully into my power. In short, I am tracking my progress through a threshold and into a new way of being: a sacred initiation. In this light, everything is a wonder and a gift. It’s not easy or comfortable, but it’s enlightening and full of grace.

For example, the following is a selection of common menopause symptoms I’ve been having for the past few years. On the left are the medical descriptions. You can find these on any chart or list of perimenopause symptoms on the internet. On the right, is the mystical interpretation that has given me solace and that I do believe represents a deeper truth. Some of them might strike you as funny…they do me, too. Having a sense of humor is key to being a mystic!

• Hot flashes >> kundalini rising into the higher chakras 

• Frozen shoulder >> yoga injury from decades of hardcore asana

• Sleeplessness/waking at 3am >> my guides wanting to channel wisdom to me while other minds are quiet 

• Anxiety/moodiness >> unresolved trauma presenting itself to be healed 

• Hair loss >> COVID vaccine I succumbed to 

• Tinitis/ringing in the ears >> my guides wanting my attention to channel a message 

• Brain fog >> breaking through the dominant Western linear paradigm into a timeless dimension/shedding the patriarchal fixation on productivity and precision/efficiency

• Exhaustion >> need rest to integrate higher frequencies of energy 

• Irritability >> years of suppressed rage finally finding an outlet 

• Inflammation/bloating >> change in diet is necessary for lighter/higher state of being and evolving consciousness 

• Diminishment of libido (it’s not gone, just less urgent) >> reorientation to the sacred, ecstatic, heart-opening, loving aspects of intimacy versus more primal, reproductive, and trauma-based urges and impulses to merge, be safe and accepted, and find relief  in a chronically up-regulated system.

• Bluntness/not giving a fuck/lack of motivation for stupid shit >> finally occupying my throne and standing for something real in this world of insanity/not needing to be liked or be acceptable 

• Depression >> suppressed grief from years of self-sacrificing and not expressing my true needs and desires, plus an actual visceral connection to the prevalence of suffering on the planet

I don’t know about you, but I know which feels like the more exciting and expansive journey! As Alexis from Schitt’s Creek would say: “Love that journey for you.” I’m taking the initiatory route. 

There is a very stupid and not helpful unspoken belief in the menopause conversation that it’s black and white: either you medicate and take hormones (manufactured or natural/bioidentical) OR you give up, let yourself go, and crumble into pile of osteoporosis-riddled bones and dryness. You shrivel up like a prune.

This dichotomy is not real! What I’ve chosen to prioritize is my soul’s journey and the mystical process of awakening, as I have done for 30 years now. I know who I am and where I’m headed. I know what I want and what I love and also, what I can handle. So, I make choices to optimize for magic and growth, healing and wisdom. For me right now, that means not taking hormones. I don’t judge others for their choices. I chose to have a home birth. It was really hard and I’ve never judged a woman for choosing a hospital birth or epidural…I truly honor each woman’s journey in a body. It’s hard! I don’t claim to have the answers. But, I do think it’s important for women making non-mainstream choices to have a voice, too. There are too many messages in the overculture that are born from fear, internalized patriarchy, and insecurity. I hope I can offer an alternative.

Sure…it’s good to have the medical knowledge and there’s no point to suffering needlessly. But I just think, where we draw the line on suffering (maybe it’s actually resistance to shedding what is no longer needed) and how we make mythopoetic sense of our experience, is the difference between a medical issue and a rite of passage. 

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Interview with Rachel Sopher of Psyche’s Lamp ~ The Power to Bless

My friend, Rachel Sopher, who is a talented writer, mystic, and therapist in her own right, invited me to a conversation on her platform, Psyche’s Lamp. We had a beautiful sharing around feminine wisdom, the journey into the archetype of the Queen and the power to bless. Here is Rachel’s newsletter and post (I highly recommend) and above, you can watch or listen to our conversation in full. Enjoy! Thank you, Rachel.