Re-Emergence: A New Chapter 🌈
How I learned to stop worrying and love the world
Dear Friends,
I had a dream the other night. I was sitting in a pub, a neighborly spot, with my daughter. We were in a booth enjoying a meal when the bartender, a woman, looked over at me and said, “Tell me your life story.” She stood there with a towel in her hands, leaning forward on the bar. She was a young woman, but already well-weathered by life. It seemed like she needed my story. So, I told her.
I told her everything that seemed like it mattered; everything that had brought me to this moment. It felt wonderful to be witnessed and my daughter’s presence felt like an additional blessing—she’s played such a central role in making me the woman I am today.
In the dream—because, well it was a dream—the whole story was transmitted instantly and we sat there looking at each other, feeling peaceful like everything had been said; the way you feel after a good round of campfire stories. I could feel myself, my stories, resonating within them, shaping them, inspiring them. Then the young bartender backed away and an older woman took her place. This woman was kindly and wise, more of a peer. She looked at me closely and asked, “Do you have any regrets?”
I searched inside for the self-reflective aspect that has always readily supplied such judgments. I expected myself to say something like, “Of course! Doesn’t everyone? Let me tell you…” But, the question had entered me like an arrow shot from a bow—splitting my critical, thinking-mind wide open. I sat there looking at her blankly… empty. To my surprise, I couldn’t find a single regret. It had all been perfect, I realized, because it had brought me HERE and NOW to this beautiful moment. I woke in this state:
How beautiful to experience a complete synthesis of the past into the now-moment—ready to move forward without regrets, ready to give all I have to offer.
Out of the Hermitage…Back To the World
I can’t tell you exactly when I became a hermit. It may have been a necessary developmental stage, a result of a lot of healing work, a good intuition, a means of avoidance—or all of the above at different times. What I can see now is that I went into an isolation that felt necessary to preserve something precious and Divine I was beginning to fathom; something pure and Real I’d been searching for all my life. I felt—rationally or irrationally, it doesn’t really matter—that I needed to keep the seed of this wisdom from the cold, harsh world: from commercialism, fear, greed, violence, jadedness, numbness. I didn’t trust the world to meet me where I was. I didn’t trust myself to protect this precious thing so nascent in me.
In order to do this, I had to detach from the current system (to the degree that is possible) and I had to make sacrifices. I sacrificed many things over many years: my body and health, my sanity (at times), my comfort, my connection to community, my marriage, and my livelihood.
It touches my heart to recognize this impulse to protect the Sacred in myself and others. I have a lot of compassion for people who are called to do this—it can be lonely and thankless. There are so many holding seeds of Divinity in the safety of isolation and anonymity. So many who might look or seem unusual or eccentric to the rest of us when what they are holding in their hearts and hands is pure light. I long for a world more welcoming, more supportive, of the purity of this impulse. I long for a world that centers the Sacred again.
I wish we had a better way of holding people through this essential incubation process. I wish we supported this kind of retreat better. I write it to be honest about where I’ve been. It takes a toll in the world we currently have—a world that requires us to engage continually and consistently in samsaric activity (that’s not a judgment, but a description) in order to survive; a world that has so little space for the emergence of the Sacred that we medicate and institutionalize our spiritual awakenings and pathologize and persecute ways of thinking and being that are outside the narrow “norm.”
Retreat was a generative time for me. I devoted myself to spiritual practice, motherhood, and grounding. I cultivated a relationship with the earth and particular tantric deities, elementals/nature spirits of the place where I lived, including those inhabiting the habitat of two ponds, deep mossy woods, and the wide open skies.
During this time, I found a community online through the liminal web and I dedicated myself to helping others move through transition. I taught tantric meditation and courses on the subtle body, took on more 1:1 coaching clients, and wrote. Many of you reading now found me or my work during this time. One of the gifts of retreat was finding my true voice and passions.
All of this is to say that retreat from the world can be very productive and maybe even necessary for producing deep works of art and insight. Our culture is so concerned with RELEVANCE, I think it’s scary for people—especially those with an audience—to take a break. Writers and artists have always known the importance of rest and solitude. I consider myself an artist, too. It’s just that LIFE is my medium. During my retreat…
I wrote a book—Tenacious Magic—which is now a 300+ page manuscript. I’ve hired an editor to work with me this summer on polishing and preparing the manuscript for publication. I’m actively looking for a literary agent who can help me find a publisher.
I leaned into the poetry that has always come so easily to me and gave myself over to the muse. I now have a collection of poems for publication. I am hoping to edit and publish this book in the coming year(s).
I became certified to teach Vajra Yoga—a synthesis of Buddhist philosophy, Tibetan yoga, and Indian Hatha yoga created by Bob Thurman and Michele Loew.
I launched the Sacred Heart retreats and gatherings for women. With the help of some extraordinary women, I held two IN-PERSON retreats in the Hudson Valley (fall 2023 and spring 2024) and am working on an upcoming event this fall. The weekly Thursday night Sacred Heart container is BEAUTIFUL and growing with women who are learning to awaken their sacred heart.
I continued my 1:1 practice of trauma healing and spiritual guidance. I have had the privilege of working with many beautiful beings—some of them mystics and seekers, like me. I’ve walked with them through trials and fire. I’ve learned so much and felt their spiritual company.
I continue to offer a weekly guided meditation called Coming Home, which emerged during the pandemic as a way to help people ground and embody. Now, it’s a potent group ritual where we co-create the context and field for our own healing and the meditation arises spontaneously.
I offered a year of Cultural Embodiment, mainly through The Stoa, to guide folks through a process of sensing the news and culture—and sharing our collective experience in order to metabolize what’s happening in the world.
I navigated motherhood, menopause, divorce, and the blossoming of a new partnership—a love beyond anything I ever imagined…All of this to say, I’ve become what I set out to be: a woman unto herself, a woman in full.
It’s hard to make firm distinctions, but I’d say a lot of the work I’ve focused on over the last couple of years has been more in the “spiritual” and “healing” domains versus the material or worldly domains. Not that they’re actually separate, but there is a different center of gravity. It’s a different vocabulary and set of values, a different subculture and set of personalities. I started my career in advertising, futurism, and brand communications so this has been quite a departure. I changed fields, in a way.
When I walked away from the material and worldly, I left behind a part of myself—the part that’s actually quite skilled at navigating, strategizing, and helping build things in the world. I stopped being willing to engage the worldly. I lost my connection to a number of communities where I had been very active.
Another thing that happened to me (not that it has to happen to everyone) when I withdrew my energy from the world, is that I stopped making a worldly living; stopped generating enough income. My spiritual bank became full of riches, but the material bank account drained. Over time, this has had a big impact on me and my daughter. If I’m honest, I have to say we’ve both suffered and maybe she has more than me. We’ve both felt tremendous financial insecurity when I am perfectly capable of earning.
Detaching from the system and living on very little income forced me to address the shadow dynamics I was holding around money and poverty—a big family karma—and helped me overcome my inherited anxiety related to money/income. It helped me find a healthy non-attached relationship to money; and eventually forced me to re-evaluate the practicality of a purely emergent, purely “spiritual” way of living. Again—this is not a prescription, just a description of my experience. Everyone has their own journey.I now see I MUST re-integrate my worldly, money-earning self :)
I fundamentally believe and stand for a spirituality of descent/immanence where we bring spirit into matter—or more accurately, recognize the oneness (not-two-ness) of spirit and matter right here and now. And so, it’s actually quite beautiful that a need for MONEY is one of the primary motivating factors and SIGNS for me that it’s time to re-enter the world…not out of panic or fear or desperation (that might have been the case for me in the past)…but because the message is clear: you are a worldly being; you are here and money is the currency we use right now to be here, to live here. Making money is a gesture or sign of compliance with that reality (among other things). Money is a means to an end. As my daughter says, “Money is not the answer to all problems, but it is the answer to money problems.”
I do not regret the decision to retreat. I love the art I made and I’m willing to sit with the impact this has had on people I love and care about. There is no life or decision-making that doesn’t impact countless other lives. I feel confident that I did what I had to do and now it’s done. I feel complete with that journey. I saw what I needed to see, achieved what I needed to achieve. What was nascent and budding in me is now stable; strong enough to be exposed without fear. No one can stay in the cocoon forever.
Stop Worrying. Start Walking…
I am ready to re-enter the world and worldly concerns…intentionally, with direction and focus, with clarity and conviction. I have come through the cycle I called “The Art of Emergence,” which was really a very feminine modality—one where I surrendered to what was emerging moment-by-moment. I am now re-integrating a healthy respect for structure, vision, focus, direction and trust in God. I have been forged in a fire of will and unity that makes me feel ready to engage with the world in a new way—INTEGRATED and IN SERVICE. I am here with new gifts and offerings. What’s different now? I AM ACTUALLY HERE WILLINGLY.
I am willing and able. I am not withholding or resisting. I am here on a mission. I am happy to be here. I am willing to serve. I am humble. I am free from resentment and fear. I am patient. I have nowhere else to be.
What does all of this mean, practically-speaking? How does this apply to you, my readers/supporters/friends? This is a natural evolution and next step for me and for The Art of Emergence, so I hope it won’t feel like a departure, but like an upgrade: MORE OF THE GOOD STUFF YOU LOVE in a package that’s actually more actionable, accessible, and valuable.
I feel ready to re-enter the world and bring the wisdom of the Sacred to bear in the domains I once knew so well: business, communication, executive leadership, facilitation. I believe there is more readiness for it now. I guess, I’ll see.
Here are four key ways I intend to alter my approach to this work and my offering:
1) A New Contract with YOU
What do I mean?
Moving forward, I want to offer more value to those who are paid subscribers. I want to incentivize you—sincerely—to support my work with a small monthly sum. It helps so much and motivates me to write and share wisdom when I feel the value exchange is there.
When I started this Substack newsletter, I had that intention and did offer additional and specialized deals and exclusive content to those who became paid subscribers. It’s still the case that paid subscribers are invited to attend my meditations and online gatherings and classes for free or for a discount. However, over time I slacked and lost steam as the uptake wasn’t what I hoped. I got discouraged. I feel badly about not delivering on my part of the deal—I own that. I feel ready to try again and I hope the effort will feel exciting to you and be something you’d like to invest in.
Right now, I have 1,268 subscribers. 37 are paid. That’s only about 3% of my audience who are currently paying for content on a monthly or annual basis. If I could increase that number to 25%, it would allow me to treat this as a part-time job and create more regular content with more ease.
What do I need?
If you can become a paid subscriber at a monthly or annual commitment, that would be so helpful. I will be catering content to your interests and tastes. It really makes a difference…
2) Chief Coherence Officer
What do I mean?
I used to be a great strategist and communications consultant. I was a well-known trendspotter who coined cultural memes and identified cultural movements before they reached the mainstream. I inspired Fortune 50 companies to include the environment, the feminine, and social issues in their agenda and communications.
I was always good at what I did because of my natural intuitive gifts. Early in my career, the gifts were unrefined and I let them be exploited. As I’ve matured and spent countless hours in practice, prayer, and healing, my natural gifts have blossomed. I possess a level of sensitivity and perception that is rare in the world and almost non-existent in the business world. For a long time, I felt a responsibility NOT to use these gifts for commercial purposes. But, now I am excited to find aligned clients and companies with a soul. I am optimistic that I am not the only one who has changed in these last few years. I think business has changed, too.
I know there are companies and organizations that are centered around the Sacred principles of Life. I am interested in helping these companies and entrepreneurs do their work with more ease and vitality/energy. This would be a win: win.
I call myself a “Chief Coherence Officer.” Most systems and teams are currently operating with very little coherence. Most meetings and conversations are totally incoherent. We’ve come to accept these frustrations as a “normal” part of doing business/work. They’re not. I can help teams and leaders eliminate incoherence in the system. I can help identify invisible blocks and opportunities. I can facilitate better communication, more clarity, and more coherence between team members. I can help surface blind spots and weak spots in the network of relationships—places that can lead to conflict and challenge if they’re not addressed. Coherence is a real thing in a system—more coherence leads to more abundance, ease, flow, energy and opportunity.
What do I need?
What I need is introductions to companies and leaders who center the sacred-LIFE-and are ready to work at the level of energy/coherence. Where are the business leaders of tomorrow? Do you know of some? Let me know! Who is doing great work? Who could use help furthering their mission?
Reach out to me directly—schuyler@artofemergence.com
3) A Re-engagement with a Community of Peers and Partners
What do I mean?
I used to be a great networker. I was known for my connections and used this gift to open doors, get things done, gain access to people and events. I was able to instigate and make things happen in the world because I knew the right people. I was a “super-connector” in the culture. The main reason was that I enjoyed people; I was genuinely curious about them and liked to be connected to what was happening on the frontlines. I used to organize events in New York City that drew hundreds of people.
I had to go through a kind of detox around this skillset. There was something tainted in it because it was arising from a “bug” in our culture that makes us see relationships with people as transactional. The detox was pretty grueling, actually. I had to acknowledge how I had “used” people and their placement to get what I wanted. I had to see how I had used persuasion and seduction to get what I wanted. I had to see how status and power demons had infiltrated my network. It wasn’t pretty.
In my efforts to purify my relationship to community, I had to take a time-out. I had to retreat and let go of many connections that had once felt very important to me. I had to exorcise the demon that tells us our connections give us cultural RELEVANCE. I even deleted my LinkedIn account. I had to figure out who my real friends are and how I can be a real friend to others. Through hard work and deep process, I did it. I learned to relate to people cleanly and with transparency. I learned how to create win: win situations and facilitate truly fair exchange. I returned to a deep reverence and fascination for humankind—one not based on what an individual has “achieved” but who they are. This may sound like basic stuff, but in the context of industry and culture it is EXCEEDINGLY RARE.
If there’s one thing I’m sure of it’s that we can’t do this alone. The shift we’re trying to make here into the New Earth requires cooperation and collaboration. It’s a collective shift.
What do I need?
What I need is to get back out there. I’d love to know about events where good people are gathering for the right reasons—to support each other’s projects and to promote ideals and practices around real community, beneficial business, and transparent communication.
A lot of this is on me. I need to reactivate my network. I also need to apologize to the folks I let down and reconnect with a lot of people and communities I disappeared from. I am sorry. I didn’t know what else to do. I look forward to coming back together.
I’d also love to be having more public conversations. I love to do podcasts and interviews (happy to be on either side of the conversation). If there are any podcasts you enjoy that you think I’d be a good guest on or could learn from, send them my way. I will look into them!
4) A Deep Commitment to Training and Helping Others Awaken
What do I mean?
I will continue to provide 1:1 healing and mentoring sessions for those who want to work with me directly to integrate and awaken their own latent potential and mystical gifts. I love this work and I’m good at it. Recently, I offered 13 free 30-minute trial spots and they were filled within a day. I love working with people to move through their blocks. I love witnessing people stepping into their greatness. I love encouraging people to explore the edges. I love cutting through with people to the ultimate reality.
What do I need?
I need more 1:1 clients. I have a few open slots right now and would love to work with 3-5 more people who are committed to awakening and healing at a very deep level. Here is a description of the work. The commitment is weekly for 3-6 months or for as long as it’s working for you. You can sign up for a 30-minute trial here if you are serious about engaging. My regular rate for these sessions is $300/hour.
Email me for a trial session: schuyler@artofemergence.com
The New Earth: A World Made of Wisdom
The point of all of this - this post and all of the sentiments contained within - is an announcement that something has shifted in me but, I don’t think I am the only one feeling it. Business is a disaster. Politics is a disaster. The climate is on fire. The world needs its wisdom-holders! I know there are a lot of people who have been in retreat or seeking and have begun to get the call to get back in the game in order to elevate it. Let’s go.
The world made from ignorance and greed is crumbling around us…this dissolution is creating what feels destabilizing, but can also be an opening. If we seize the opportunity, we can make a new world built from wisdom.
What is the point of enlightenment if it’s not to help other sentient beings? There is no personal salvation; no individual enlightenment. Service is the call of the hour—recognizing our interconnectedness, extending our hand to our brothers and sisters, and walking through this fire together. It’s got to be the way.
I pray that we find the courage to release our grip on regret and past grievances, and stand in the limbo, the in-between, the unknown. From there, the wise ones, who have been working to refine themselves, can begin to build a world from wisdom. It will be an integrated and harmonious effort and it will be forged in the FIRES OF THE HEART.
If you’re on a similar journey, let me know. I’d love to hear from you. There’s strength in numbers and in weaving ourselves together. The field of consciousness and coherence we can create by communicating with each other, through sharing and listening, and calling BS on the old ways of being, will change things immediately. I want to be a part of that—do you? Let’s serve a greater calling.
It’s time to stop worrying and start walking back towards the world. This is how we will fall in love with the world again.
Let me know what you think and feel. Let me know what you are sensing and seeing. And as a reader/subscriber, let me know what you NEED.
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This is great, Schuyler, and very similar to where I am personally and professionally. Thanks for sharing where you are. I’d love to connect and will send you an email.
Nice, Schuyler.
This reckoning with, and turning back toward, the constraints of working within our current economic reality as we find it seems to be in the air right now among folks working to birth alternatives… I’ve at least noticed some breezes with this same signature blowing by.
Will follow up with a bit more 🌬️