Tenacious Magic ~ Chapter 9

Katherine's cows, musings on motherhood, The Movements, and a meeting with G

Dear Friends,

It’s Friday and time for another installment of Tenacious Magic. This is an emergent, serial novel tracing the lives of two women born 100 years apart and their relationships with their spiritual teachers. One story follows Katherine Mansfield, the writer, through the last four month of her life, which she spent at the Prieuré in Fontainebleu with the esoteric teacher and prophet, Gurdjieff. The other is my own story, which takes place in New York City in the 2010s where I met and worked with a teacher I call “H.” For a time (and even now) our lives became intertwined in a way that made it seem like we had work to do together. I believe that work is healing. The telling of the tale is an alchemical container for our own healing and the healing of the archetype of the sacred marriage or consort dynamic. It is also a story about immortality.

I’ve been publishing a chapter every Friday for two months. (You can read my introduction to the project here.) I invite readers to participate in shaping the story by offering comments, questions, and ideas. I’ve had some incredible participation. Every time I get a reader comment, it changes the way I see the story and what I choose to focus on for the coming week. I am learning about my own story through the eyes and experience of my readers. We are shaping the story and the healing together. Some of the themes are universal and archetypal, so I frequently hear from people who have been in the same or similar circumstances. My prayer is that we can heal and liberate these energies for spiritual evolution together…or at the least, weave a great tale together!

The chapters are now behind the paywall, though the first seven were free to all subscribers. If you like what you’re reading here or want to start from the beginning, I urge you to go back to Chapter 1 and/or subscribe to keep reading! If this isn’t your thing, don’t worry! My Substack will continue to have free content related to embodiment, meditation, Tantra, and poetry.

Once a month, I host a live Zoom session. It’s a Q&A and book club in one. Last month was beautiful and rich. If you’re reading and enjoying, consider joining me on Wednesday, March 29 from 6-7pm EST for the next one. It’s open to anyone who’s read any of the story—one chapter or all of them to date.

Now, back to the story…

Dancers rehearse The Struggle of the Magicians at the Prieuré, art by Midjourney

“I know that this is true and that there is no other truth. You know that I have long since looked upon all of us without exception as people who have suffered shipwreck and have been cast upon an uninhabited island, but who do not yet know of it. But these people here know it. The others, there, in life, still think that a steamer will come for them tomorrow and that everything will go on in the old way. These already know that there will be no more of the old way. I am so glad that I can be here.”

–Katherine Mansfield to Ouspensky on life at the Prieuré, In Search of the Miraculous

The Prieuré, Fontainebleu, France 1922

“Schwarzer Peter!” shouts the child, throwing his last pair of cards onto the table.

Katherine smacks her forehead in mock exasperation and puts the joker down on the table between them. “I guess I’ll take my mark now,” she says.

He leaps up from the chair and runs to the ash can. He licks his finger, dips it in, and returns. Katherine closes her eyes and waits for the penalty, a smudge on the forehead. 

She can feel the boy’s breath on her face as he leans in. She opens her eyes and sees his sparkling with delight, “Now you’re Schwarzer Katya!” He laughs and runs out the door. Olgivanna, who is kneading bread dough, laughs and tosses Katherine a tea towel. 

Gurdjieff appears in the doorway. He nods in greeting to everyone in the room and walks over to the table where a pile of chopped vegetables is waiting to be thrown into the stew pot. He grabs a handful of raw cabbage and shoves it in his mouth. Chewing slowly, he fixes his big dark eyes on Katherine. The image of a bull comes to mind as she continues to wipe at her forehead. 

“To be with children is good medicine,” he says to her, “They are the best teachers. Nothing yet is false.” He looks at her hard, “Do you have children?”

“No,” her answer is curt but cheerful. She is used to the question.

He seems to be waiting for her to say more. Fortunately, she is saved by a sudden burst of energy into the room. Two of the Russian men are back from their excursion to purchase cows, one of them is leading a small heifer into the room.