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charlie derr's avatar

Wow!

So amazing (as always...)

Just sharing my processing without giving my brain time to "over" process, and instead let it be raw...

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charlie derr's avatar

in no particular order (or perhaps in the order of importance which is below my conscious awareness?), first the glass

i always am barefoot

yesterday i was out before dawn walking with Teyla (who's getting quite ancient; as a non-small dog over 14 years, every moment she remains able to accompany me is a gift now)

i had my cellphone, but i can't bear to break the darkness

we were on the usual section of the rail trail here in town

but i suddenly had fear

i didn't *know* what i might be stepping on in the dark

and while the trail is usually kept quite clean, the fear that someone might have smashed a glass bottle (i used to be that person when i was drinking beer as a teenager, taking joy in "sign hunting" (throwing empty bottles out of a moving vehicle at roadsigns and feeling some satisfaction (boy was that shallow and empty (now in hindsight of course, at the time i though i was experiencing joy and a sense of accomplishment!)))

so i turned back instead of going around a longer loop

for many decades as an adult i've gotten so upset at broken glass (usually picking it all up carefully when i find it)

it's really insidious

i know as a barefooter how evil it really is

it's possible to be cut by that unnatural sharpness without even feeling pain

the natural thorns which exist (and are also capable of piercing my flesh if i step on them) are designed to hurt -- it's how the plant is protecting itself

so walking carefully will allow one to feel the prick and then not put one's full weight on that foot

but glass is different

it can also (especially clear glass, which is not what you included) hide visually as well

if there's no glint in the sun to warn one, then the possibility of injury exists

i suspect many people would consider me foolish for insisting on not wearing shoes so often

but i really love the mindfulness which comes from feeling directly the ground i walk on

and broken glass is such a bane...

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charlie derr's avatar

the monarch

i mourn with you

so many fewer than there used to be

so many fewer bugs of all kinds

foolishly as a child i wished there were fewer (because i considered them a bother)

monarchs have always been my favorite

one year, living in Boston Corners, NY, where i'd build a hoop house greenhouse behind the house we were renting, the monarchs were a family treasure

our oldest daughter (who was then i think not quite or almost a teeenager) really "embraced" the hunt for caterpillars (which i'd been taught in grade school in upstate NY) on milkweed plants

and she would bring them into our greenhouse

that fall, there were dozens of pupae, each constructing a chrysalis there in the greenhouse (which was open on the ends except in the winter)

a magical thing to see so many, in different stages

with her sharp eyes, my daughter was capable of finding caterpillars which were so tiny (and in those situations, there would be a bunch nearby, all hatched from the same cluster of eggs layed by the mother butterfly)

it's been a thing for us

and now her daughter (our granddaughter) is learning how to look

which is far more of a challenge than it was a generation ago

hell, there are far fewer milkweed plants! and so so few monarchs

but hopefully a resurgence will take place, though i'm cynical (with how ubiquitous our dousing the world around us with chemicals is, as we try to prioritize our comfort (and respond to what is maybe a "natural" revulsion at bugs of all sorts, due to how many do cause us discomfort))

i'm now quite different in my relationships with mosquitoes

not that i love them

but i rarely put on bug spray

though sometimes i will (i refuse to use the "good stuff" which works much better (with DEET in it) just on principle, as there are natural concoctions which do a good enough job, even if i need to apply a lot more often)

anyhow, i'm running out of time for the rest

but i'm really glad that you chose to "break your rule" (no i did not see the tiny boot, but i'll go look for it later)

and i can't wait to see you (and likely others, some of whom i also now take joy in reconnecting with whenever we are there with you, as i consider them friends too) in less than 4 hours for _Coming Home_

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