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My Particular Alchemy ~ Let It Be Known
It hit me today. I don’t think I have ever been so clear about what it is I do. You know how everyone is always talking about purpose? And how we understand people (adults anyway) by and through their action in the world? At parties…Hi. What’s your name? What do you do?
I have always had a very hard time explaining what I do because a lot of what I am DOING is actually in how I am BEING. How am I being? I am being a subtle being. I am being in my subtle sensing. I am being a being who can FEEL EVERYTHING, especially the feelings and information in a space that are invisible to most people, to the gross senses. I am using my subtle senses to sense PROCESS…in other words…I am attuned at all times to WHAT IS HAPPENING and WHAT WANTS TO HAPPEN.
So, what I DO is this: I am a midwife of subtle processes. I sense them. Attune with my whole body and soul to what’s wanting to happen (emergence) and when I am skillful, I am helping to birth the new life waiting to come through. I help birth more LIFE into the world. This makes me invaluable in situations that feel stuck, stagnant, or chaotic.
My first professional success—my career—was as a trendspotter, a futurist. This was a commercial form of this same process. I was attuned to where the culture was headed. I was able to spot where the new “birth” was crowning amidst the chaos. I could sense energetic blocks and offer skillful interventions. I was able to “predict” the next because I was in touch with it first.
Now, we are culturally on the precipice. We are—in the words of Joanna Macy originally and many others since—in a birth process “on the knife’s edge.” The emergence of a New Earth hangs in the balance. This is what we’re living and fighting and dying for—if we are awake and even if we’re not (let’s be honest). Charles Eisenstein calls it “the more beautiful world our hearts know is possible.” That is “the baby”…the new life that’s in the birth canal. We need midwives and death doulas to get us through. I sense Joanna Macy was very much aware of this. She says:
"We will probably not know in our lifetimes whether we are serving as deathbed attendants to a dying world or as midwives to the next stage of human evolution."
It’s really the same job—that’s the thing. In one session with an individual client, we might hospice old patterns of suffering and old stories, while encouraging and embracing the new possibilities hovering on the edge of awareness. I am holding an awareness of BOTH at the same time because they are part of the same process. Ina May Gaskins, the queen of all midwives, says there is a moment in every natural birth when the mother has to surrender her will…she has to be willing to DIE so the new life can be BORN. I had this experience during my home birth. And everyone who has ever attended or experienced a deathbed process, will also know there is something “born” into the space where the dying is happening, the dying is the gateway to the birth of the soul into another dimension.
It’s ALL in the room. Just as it’s all in “the room” with us right now. As we feel the labor pains, as we sense our way through the birth canal…we must be clear about where we’re at in the process. It’s changing moment-to-moment realtime, and it’s not guaranteed, even as there is a driving propulsion, a force working through us all called EVOLUTION. Even as there is a bigger process which IS guaranteed, which is too staggering to conceive as human, let’s call that GOD.
I spend a lot of my working life not being paid or recognized—I know there are so many like this out there and I want to know you and see you. I wish to recognize you because the pain of not being recognized for this CRITICAL work is hard to bear sometimes. I know. I spend a lot of time sensing into the whole. I spend a lot of time waiting to receiving instruction from higher sources. I spend a lot of time looking for the necessary “interventions” and preparing myself to be the kind of person who can execute them. When the call is sounded, when this labor becomes active, I want to be lucid, ready, present, and armed with all the skills I need. This is what I DO. This is what any midwife does.
I wanted to share this today for three reasons. One—it just feels so fucking good to be clear—to see it myself and KNOW I am doing what I came here to do. Two—I spend a lot of time being humble and not really talking about what I do or have done or can do. This is because I have a fear of ego’s distortions, an allergy to narcissistic leadership, and the residual wounding (persecution complex) that makes it harder for a woman to say, “THIS IS ME. THIS IS WHAT I DO. AND I AM FUCKING GOOD AT IT.” Three—If you need me, I am here. If you are stuck or in a process that could use extremely attuned facilitation (individually or as an organization or group) please reach out and we can talk about how I might help. Like everyone else, I am happiest when I am doing exactly what I was put on this earth to do.
In the coming weeks, I might share more about HOW I do this. It’s actually a fascinating process and part of what I will be developing in the coming years for something that wants to emerge through me: The School of Prophetic Arts. Stay tuned…
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