A dream...new confidence, new carriage * Libido is lost * H: "Time to begin your journey" * The MOON * The veil lifts, voices in the night * Back to H to learn
Oof, i just caught up after a 2 month hiatus as I feel I need to be alone and quiet to dig into this and that opportunity felt lacking for the past couple months.
First of all I love reading the story. It is a super fun trip and there is so much I enjoy about it. Your relationship to the beyond is intoxicating.
I feel confronted by the patriarchal relationships and the power dynamics between S and H and Katherine and Gurdjieff. Because of their male nature (but is it only that?) it feels impossible to know if they are predatory charlatans or powerful sorcerers or both! But either way something leaves me distrustful of them.
And I feel both attracted to the peak experiences and also distrustful of them as well! Personally it feels like they would turn me into a peak bagger always searching for higher highs and dissatisfied with the mundane realities of life that I think currently bring me deep satisfaction (but also boredom at times).
Which i guess is all to say it is a great story as it brings up so much and truly takes me into other worlds. And feels full of hope and possibility with danger lurking. It’s a page turner.
Keep going!
And I agree with Kate here about really enjoying the 3 female leads. Present day Schuyler, S, and Katherine. It is really fun to feel them all entwined. I can only imagine how vulnerable this telling must make you feel and to have that voice speaking and sharing her present moment is rich and super brave.
It’s strange I ask myself this time as I read how different would I receive this story, feel the same if I didn’t know your backstory? As I read, I feel I am you as you mention those universal stories coming alive...feelings of sadness, interest, insecurity, connecting with me as I read along. But I did have to ask myself would I have felt the same if I didn’t know the backstory, haven’t read your preparation‘s and narratives for each chapter? I feel my answer is no. Hope that’s helpful. Thank you for being so vulnerable in your sharing today.
Hi Kate, thank you for your comment. I appreciate what you're saying here about the preambles each week influencing your experience of the story. I'm curious if you "like" that or "don't like" it. What does it do for your net experience of the work? Maybe it's not that black and white. Maybe there are ways you like it and ways you don't. It's cool to think about one day printing a book of this work and leaving the commentary at the back instead of at the front of each chapter. So, you could have the experience you prefer. You could read the intro to each chapter before or you could leave it all for later :) What I find is that I *need* to have that mouthpiece before I make the offering each week. Maybe that's because I am writing about an "old" me, a me who is a little more naive and now I can see much that she couldn't. Sharing without my current voice feels incomplete to me, but it might also take you out of the direct experience as a reader. It's a very cool thing to contemplate. Would love to hear if this generates more for you or also happy to leave it here as a curiosity. Much appreciation for your reading and commenting. Thank you.
Oof, i just caught up after a 2 month hiatus as I feel I need to be alone and quiet to dig into this and that opportunity felt lacking for the past couple months.
First of all I love reading the story. It is a super fun trip and there is so much I enjoy about it. Your relationship to the beyond is intoxicating.
I feel confronted by the patriarchal relationships and the power dynamics between S and H and Katherine and Gurdjieff. Because of their male nature (but is it only that?) it feels impossible to know if they are predatory charlatans or powerful sorcerers or both! But either way something leaves me distrustful of them.
And I feel both attracted to the peak experiences and also distrustful of them as well! Personally it feels like they would turn me into a peak bagger always searching for higher highs and dissatisfied with the mundane realities of life that I think currently bring me deep satisfaction (but also boredom at times).
Which i guess is all to say it is a great story as it brings up so much and truly takes me into other worlds. And feels full of hope and possibility with danger lurking. It’s a page turner.
Keep going!
And I agree with Kate here about really enjoying the 3 female leads. Present day Schuyler, S, and Katherine. It is really fun to feel them all entwined. I can only imagine how vulnerable this telling must make you feel and to have that voice speaking and sharing her present moment is rich and super brave.
Looking forward to the next chapter! xo Kathy
It’s strange I ask myself this time as I read how different would I receive this story, feel the same if I didn’t know your backstory? As I read, I feel I am you as you mention those universal stories coming alive...feelings of sadness, interest, insecurity, connecting with me as I read along. But I did have to ask myself would I have felt the same if I didn’t know the backstory, haven’t read your preparation‘s and narratives for each chapter? I feel my answer is no. Hope that’s helpful. Thank you for being so vulnerable in your sharing today.
Hi Kate, thank you for your comment. I appreciate what you're saying here about the preambles each week influencing your experience of the story. I'm curious if you "like" that or "don't like" it. What does it do for your net experience of the work? Maybe it's not that black and white. Maybe there are ways you like it and ways you don't. It's cool to think about one day printing a book of this work and leaving the commentary at the back instead of at the front of each chapter. So, you could have the experience you prefer. You could read the intro to each chapter before or you could leave it all for later :) What I find is that I *need* to have that mouthpiece before I make the offering each week. Maybe that's because I am writing about an "old" me, a me who is a little more naive and now I can see much that she couldn't. Sharing without my current voice feels incomplete to me, but it might also take you out of the direct experience as a reader. It's a very cool thing to contemplate. Would love to hear if this generates more for you or also happy to leave it here as a curiosity. Much appreciation for your reading and commenting. Thank you.